Wednesday, March 11, 2020
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ThreeHundredEight.com: Canadian federal polling averages
ThreeHundredEight.com: Canadian federal polling averages: The following is a weighted average of the latest federal polls. A full description of the methodology used to weigh the polls can be found ...
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Emotional Rape From Enpsychopedia
What is Emotional Rape?
According to Michael Fox, Ph.D., emotional rape is similar in many ways to physical rape, particularly date rape. Date rape involves the sexual use of someone's body without consent which amounts to theft of the person's physical sensorium. In a like manner, emotional rape is the theft of someone's higher emotions, such as love, without consent. However, in the case of emotional rape the lack of consent is contained in the fact that the individual is being lied to by the perpetrator.
Emotional rape can happen to both men and women. Both forms of rape can be very devastating and require specialized programs for recovery.
Obstacles to Recovery
Several major obstacles are encountered in recovery from emotional rape that do not exist when considering physical rape. The first is that the victim is aware that something bad happened, but, due to lack of knowledge doesn't know what or why. Also, as in date rape, the victims often feel that they will never be able to love or trust anyone again.
Other obstacles to recovery, again similar to date rape, are the re-victimization of the victim by friends, family, and society ("you were stupid", "how could you let this happen", "...told you they were bad news", "you were naive", etc.) and the subsequent tendencies toward self-blame and silence about what happened.
Characteristics of Emotional Rapists
Without exception, victims describe two predominant characteristics of their rapists:
1. They are charismatic, attractive personalities, likely to be widely admired.
2) They can completely conceal their true, manipulative, power-seeking natures.
These two observations draw highlight one of the central features of Emotional Rape: it can happen to anyone.
The widely varying backgrounds and personalities of those who have become victims of emotional rapists demonstrate the danger in thinking that "It could never happen to me."
It is sometimes difficult to believe that no moral responsibility rests with the victim - because he or she was weak, naive, or otherwise "to blame" - but that it lies with the rapist, whose ability to conceal his or her true self and to present a false self with the intent of preying on others, is so practiced, so convincing, that almost anyone could be deceived.
What Makes an Emotional Rapist?
See psychopathy, narcissistic personality disorder, characteropathy, ponerology.
Discussion
It is no exaggeration to describe emotional rape as the most underrated trauma of our age; the effects are powerful and potentially destructive. Victims are forced to cope with a tangle of conflicting emotions, experiencing all the traumatic after effects of both rape and loss. This confused pattern of emotional responses is very similar to that experienced by victims of sexual rape. It's a pattern commonly identified as post-traumatic rape syndrome, although victims of emotional rape will be unaware that this is what is happening to them.
While these confused emotions are entangled and difficult to separate and/or categorize, it is possible to identify certain generalized feelings which characterize the emotional aftermath. Principally, these are:
- Denial
- Isolation
- Feeling 'Had' or 'Used'
- Loneliness and Despondency/Depression
- Rage and Obsession
- Inability to Love or Trust
- Loss of Self-Esteem
- Confusion
- Erratic Behavior
- Hidden and Delayed Reactions
- Fear and Anxiety
Accessed Jan, 23, 2011 from http://enpsychopedia.org/index.php/Emotional_Rape
According to Michael Fox, Ph.D., emotional rape is similar in many ways to physical rape, particularly date rape. Date rape involves the sexual use of someone's body without consent which amounts to theft of the person's physical sensorium. In a like manner, emotional rape is the theft of someone's higher emotions, such as love, without consent. However, in the case of emotional rape the lack of consent is contained in the fact that the individual is being lied to by the perpetrator.
Emotional rape can happen to both men and women. Both forms of rape can be very devastating and require specialized programs for recovery.
Obstacles to Recovery
Several major obstacles are encountered in recovery from emotional rape that do not exist when considering physical rape. The first is that the victim is aware that something bad happened, but, due to lack of knowledge doesn't know what or why. Also, as in date rape, the victims often feel that they will never be able to love or trust anyone again.
Other obstacles to recovery, again similar to date rape, are the re-victimization of the victim by friends, family, and society ("you were stupid", "how could you let this happen", "...told you they were bad news", "you were naive", etc.) and the subsequent tendencies toward self-blame and silence about what happened.
Characteristics of Emotional Rapists
Without exception, victims describe two predominant characteristics of their rapists:
1. They are charismatic, attractive personalities, likely to be widely admired.
2) They can completely conceal their true, manipulative, power-seeking natures.
These two observations draw highlight one of the central features of Emotional Rape: it can happen to anyone.
The widely varying backgrounds and personalities of those who have become victims of emotional rapists demonstrate the danger in thinking that "It could never happen to me."
It is sometimes difficult to believe that no moral responsibility rests with the victim - because he or she was weak, naive, or otherwise "to blame" - but that it lies with the rapist, whose ability to conceal his or her true self and to present a false self with the intent of preying on others, is so practiced, so convincing, that almost anyone could be deceived.
What Makes an Emotional Rapist?
See psychopathy, narcissistic personality disorder, characteropathy, ponerology.
Discussion
It is no exaggeration to describe emotional rape as the most underrated trauma of our age; the effects are powerful and potentially destructive. Victims are forced to cope with a tangle of conflicting emotions, experiencing all the traumatic after effects of both rape and loss. This confused pattern of emotional responses is very similar to that experienced by victims of sexual rape. It's a pattern commonly identified as post-traumatic rape syndrome, although victims of emotional rape will be unaware that this is what is happening to them.
While these confused emotions are entangled and difficult to separate and/or categorize, it is possible to identify certain generalized feelings which characterize the emotional aftermath. Principally, these are:
- Denial
- Isolation
- Feeling 'Had' or 'Used'
- Loneliness and Despondency/Depression
- Rage and Obsession
- Inability to Love or Trust
- Loss of Self-Esteem
- Confusion
- Erratic Behavior
- Hidden and Delayed Reactions
- Fear and Anxiety
Accessed Jan, 23, 2011 from http://enpsychopedia.org/index.php/Emotional_Rape
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Saturday, December 25, 2010
the season of love
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” —I Corinthians 13:4-8a (NIV)
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
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Thursday, July 29, 2010
Symptoms of Emotional Abuse
"I feel depressed, but my boyfriend/husband doesn't seem to care, and won't help me with it.
Is it possible that my depression is being caused by my relationship?"
Symptoms of
Many women assume that if they're not being physically abused by their partner, then they're not being abused. That's not necessarily true. You may be in a relationship which is draining something from you -- you might not have recognized that your partner has eroded your self-esteem and happiness.
An abusive partner will railroad discussions, so that you don't have time to think about what's right and what's wrong in their behavior.
Take a moment to consider these questions. Your partner might have behaved as though these things were okay, even though it's obvious that they aren't okay...:
Do you feel that you can't discuss with your partner what is bothering you?
Does your partner frequently criticize you, humiliate you, or undermine your self-esteem?
Does your partner ridicule you for expressing yourself?
Does your partner isolate you from friends, family or groups?
Does your partner limit your access to work, money or material resources?
Has your partner ever stolen from you? Or run up debts for you to handle?
Does your relationship swing back and forth between a lot of emotional distance and being very close?
Have you ever felt obligated to have sex, just to avoid an argument about it?
Do you sometimes feel trapped in the relationship?
Has your partner ever thrown away your belongings, destroyed objects or threatened pets?
Are you afraid of your partner?
One aspect of emotional abuse is that it eventually brainwashes the victim.
THE PROCESS OF BRAINWASHING
(MIND CONTROL)
1. The brainwasher keeps the victim unaware of what is going on and what changes are taking place.
Your partner might control your finances, make plans for you, or not tell you what his plans are until the last minute. He may talk about you to others behind your back, to isolate you from them.
2. The brainwasher controls the victim's time and physical environment, and works to suppress much of the victim's old behavior. The victim is slowly, or abruptly, isolated from all supportive persons except the brainwasher.
Your partner might have insisted that you stop certain social, hobby, or work activities. You might have gotten moved to a new location, farther away from your family and friends. Or you may have been asked (or told) to reduce or stop contact with specific supportive people in your life.
3. The brainwasher creates in the victim a sense of powerlessness, fear, and dependency.
Verbal and emotional abuse creates these emotions, and they become stronger and stronger over time.
4. The brainwasher works to instill new behavior and attitudes in the victim.
Your partner trains to you behave in ways that he wants you to behave. He gradually makes you feel differently about yourself, and erodes your confidence in yourself.
5. The brainwasher puts forth a closed system of logic, and allows no real input or criticism.
In other words -- What he says, goes.
Phase 1 - TENSION BUILDING:
Tension increases, breakdown of communication, victim feels need to placate the abuser.
Phase 4 - CALM:
Incident is "forgotten", no abuse is taking place. Phase 2 - INCIDENT:
Verbal and emotional abuse. Anger, blaming, arguing. Threats. Intimidation.
Phase 3 - RECONCILIATION:
Abuser apologizes, gives excuses, blames the victim, denies the abuse occurred, or says it wasn't as bad as the victim claims.
The original three-phase Cycle of Violence theory was developed by Dr. Lenore Walker
The fourth phase was added by unknown persons in shelter handouts, pamphlets etc.
To consider whether your partner emotionally abuses you, look at the information available on physical abusers. The patterns are similar:
COMMON CHARACTERISTICS OF ABUSERS
(adapted)
* He was verbally abused as a child, or witnessed it in his own family.
* He has an explosive temper, triggered by minor frustrations and arguments.
* Abusers are extremely possessive and jealous. They experience an intense desire to control their mates.
* His sense of masculinity depends on the woman's dependency upon him. He feels like a man only if his partner is totally submissive and dependent on him.
* Abusers often have superficial relationships with other people. Their primary, if not exclusive, relationship is with their wife/girlfriend.
* He has low self-esteem.
* He has rigid expectations of marriage (or partnership) and will not compromise. He expects her to behave according to his expectations of what a wife should be like; often the way his parents' marriage was, or its opposite. He demands that she change to accommodate his expectations.
* He has a great capacity for self-deception. He projects the blame for his relationship difficulties onto his partner. He would not be drunk if she didn't nag him so much. He wouldn't get angry if only she would do what she's supposed to do. He denies the need for counseling because there's nothing wrong with him. Or he agrees to get counseling and then avoids it or makes excuses to not follow through. He might not want her to get counseling because, he reasons, she wouldn't have any problems if she only turned to him.
* He may be described as having a dual personality -- he is either charming or exceptionally cruel. He is selfish or generous depending on his mood.
* A major characteristic of abusers is their capacity to deceive others. He can be cool, calm, charming and convincing: a con man.
* The mate is usually a symbol. The abuser doesn't relate to his partner as a person in her own right, but as a symbol of a significant other. This is especially true when he's angry. He assumes that she is thinking, feeling, or acting like that significant other -- often his mother.
EFFECTS
OF LONG-TERM EMOTIONAL & VERBAL ABUSE
ON THE VICTIM
Isolation from others - Low self-esteem - Depression - Emotional problems - Illness - Increased alcohol or drug use - Withdrawal from real life into an Internet alternative reality
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
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